What a colourful piece of crap...

Benevolent Creator

Random thoughts...

When one hope is lost, it becomes a painful loss...meaning that the memory that contained that hope it's just an empty shell and that's precisely what it hurts: the sheer thought that once you had that hope, a thought that keeps flickering until the loss becomes a lack...Under the blur of time, even the memory fades and the container of the hope, the last trace of its existence, is erased. And one circle is complete, all the way from nothing...to nothing.

Leave the guard down and life will merciless cut through flash ...!
And that’s the difference between loss and lack!

Stars are twisting and the universe takes a turn I don’t think I like...But thank you for all you had! Down time started, give it all!

There’s this record I keep playing in my head. It’s a funny one, there’s no sound that comes out...but there’s something that absorbs the music from your soul. I fear the day there’ll be no sound left.

Come, don’t be afraid, my absurd one. It’s just the empty space between your code and mine. There was an art of happiness, true, but you are beyond that now. Ignorance was bliss! This is now the art of dying!

Mayhem

Nothing is more painful than when a hope dies out... And the vision of the graveyard is just frightening enough to haunt you in the depths of your mind.

Today, I've lost the hope that purity can exist untouched in this world!
I've lost the hope that humans could create something without examples!
I've lost the hope that at least something in this world as we know it could be unlimited!
I've lost the hope that I would stop storing the most painful memories or at least that time will fade those away!
I've lost the hope that I could ever understand why!

Is this freedom? ...And the graveyard is full of beautiful dreams!

You think you know me?

I came from darkness onto the other side...
I only had dreams of pain and desire of the light
"Break free with me, stand up and fight"

So bright and burning from within
The light was defeating my realm.
Dreams and reality became the same
Till ashes would come to back to life
Again and again...

I closed my eyes and darkness brought the peace
But once The Circle is complete
Light and darkness will be gone.
Back to nothing, where we belong.

And back :)

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Back to stay for a while, till the gods decided again to clean up the heavens and throw loads of work to the petty unworthy subhuman corporate junkies.

Love me when I least deserve it, that's when I need it the most.

Part of Discovery Journey

"While we may believe
our world - our reality
to be that is - is but one
manifestation of the essence
Other planes lie beyond the reach
of normal sense and common roads
But they are no less real
than what we see or touch or feel
Denied by the blind church
'cause these are not the words of God
- the same God that burnt the knowing"
Burzum-Lost Wisdom (1991)

The New Dimension of Dreams

The crystal clear, blue sky of that day was full of kites, a marvelous explosion of colors and shapes floating above The Fantastic City. It was again that time of the year, when the citizens of the Fantastic City were given the chance to see the miracle and win a special award... as long as they could find it: among all those kites, there would be one that would fly by itself, no strings and no wings...Everbody in the town, putting on their best and most cherished costumes, would come out on this day and all eyes would survey the sky till dusk.
All of the sudden, a young boy is pushing his way through the crowd and screams from the top of its lungs: "The Chant! The Chant is here!"...
All eyes focus then in the direction pointed by the boy and the crowd lets out a deep gasp...Indeed, there was the Chant, the miraculous kite, with no strings and no wings, flying smoothly among all the other kites..It has the shape of a human head, with dark purple skin, gloomy white hair and an imprinted expression of eternal calm.
But there's one more trick to get the special prize, you'd have to be able to follow The Chant to its palace, of which no one alive knows its location.
From the entire crowd, only one woman is able to follow it all the way...all the way till a huge, very tall and very dense oak. That's where The Chant disappeares, among its branches. She's trying to see how tall the oak is, but the top of it is hidden high above in the clouds, far away from any human.
She looks again and goes around the oak, but just when she was about to give up and go back to The Fantastic City, a swing made of fine leaves and young twings, made it's way down, inviting her for a ride...Reluctantly, she steps on it and the moment she put her other foot on the swing, it rapidly starts to go higher and higher to the top of oak, which is still impossible to see...
...And this is how my dream ended...hope I'll see soon the next episode...

Ergo Sum?

For all of those who were wondering what's in my head, Here it is the answer: two clear MRIs, thanks to my dear GMS friend :)))))

Better leave than be left behind

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
Hot wind burns me
Burning as I fall
Cast away
For I must be travelling on, now,
There's too many places I haven't seen
And if I stayed here with you, now
Things just wouldn't be the same
Now guide us, by thy hand,
Show us ways unknown by mortals
Enlist thy sight, Enlist thy will,
Free us of the undevine
Release the ways, that blind our minds.
Well I'm as free as a bird now,
And a bird you can not change.
And a bird you can not change.
And a bird you can not change.
Lord knows I can't change
The path of Blind Faith. The path of Idolatry.
Hope of life
Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
And though this feeling I can't change.
Please don't take it badly,
The Lord knows I'm to blame.
Raise this being to Life
Become the same as a God
Raise this being to Life
Become one with the Gods
And, if I stayed here with you now
Things just wouldn't be the same.
For I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And the bird you can not change.
And the bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Gliding on mist
Hardly a sound
Bring the kiss
Evils abound
In the dead of night
Love bites
Love bites
In the dead of night
Love bites
Lord help me, I can't change
Fire, walk with me!

Mission impossible X

And that's how another succesfull Sunday passed by...

The story of the star dust bananas

Somewhere, floating between the 4th and the 8,5 dimension, there was a huge three-layered violet jungle. And in this jungle, there was a little monkey, with beautiful big brown eyes that was working in Jungle Traffic Control Tower.
You might wonder how come that a monkey was controlling the traffic...well, nobody actually knew it was a monkey, because it was always wearing a tiger's skin, carefully wrapped around. Controlling the traffic actually meant to roam all around the jungle's space and cry out loud the rules to be followed and the wishes to be granted and that's why it was a tiger job. It took some time for the monkey to learn to roar and growl like a real tiger. Sometimes it was working, other times the other jungle inhabitants were completely puzzled by the squeaking monkey sounds coming from The Traffic Tiger...A forest of question marks would instantly rise above their heads whenever these little sounds would come through, but the solar wind would very soon chase aways the question marks.
There were some other strange facts that everybody would notice, like the fact that the Tiger would thoroughly enjoy eating the star dust bananas....Quite unusual thing for a Tiger to climb the trees and jump from cosmic branch to cosmic branch, throw laser twigs at the passing lions, jump on the head of a giraffe, knocking its head and asking "Anyone home?" or always thinking of playing pranks on the other inhabitants that seemed to have a too peacefull life... All these never passed unobserved, but...it was The Traffic Tiger, designated be the all-mighty Traffic Control Tower, following the general common sense assumption that they know what they're doing...
If they only knew how they opened the door to disturbing times of converting vegetarians!

"We had joy, we had fun,
We had seasons in the sun"

Veni Vidi Vici

Have you ever felt the future is the past, but you dont know how...?
A reflected dream of a captured time, is it really now, is it really happening?

Dont know why I feel this way, have I dreamt this time, this place?
Something vivid comes again into my mind
And I think Ive seen your face, seen this room, been in this place
Something vivid comes again into my mind

All my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation
Have I found my destination? I just cant take no more

The dream is true, the dream is true
The dream is true, the dream is true

Think Ive heard your voice before, think Ive said these words before
Something makes me feel I just might lose my mind
Am I still inside my dream? is this a new reality
Something makes me feel that I have lost my mind

All my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation
Coming to the realization that I cant see for sure


I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause Im alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause Im alive
I only dream in black and white, please save me from myself

The dream is true, the dream is true
The dream is true, the dream is true

I get up put on the light, dreading the oncoming night
Scared to fall asleep and dream the dream again
Nothing that I contemplate, nothing that I can compare
To letting loose the demons deep inside my head

Dread to think what might be stirring, that my dream is reoccurring
Got to keep away from drifting, saving me from myself


I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause Im alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause Im alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself

Lost in a dream of mirrors, lost in a paradox
Lost and time is spinning, lost a nightmare I retrace
Lost a hell that I revisit, lost another time and place
Lost a parallel existence, lost a nightmare I retrace

The Decaying Gods

Through its tears, the entire landscape changes...The absurd creature is trapped on the bridge of immortal pain and rivers of tears go down its face, dancing around its neck and joining the millions of other tears below its feet. And all of the sudden a very loud noise fills up the non-air around. It's extremly loud and it keeps increasing and increasing...It sounds as if all heavens and hells broke in all the surrounding worlds, clash of skies and falling angels, swirling cries and deafening silence.
But through the mirror of its eyes, the absurd one sees that it is actually a huge crowd of gods who came to bathe in the river of emotions. There are golden gods and silver ones, pink gods, white gods, brown gods, black gods, tasty gods and aromatic ones, wingless or crowned ones, resembling all sorts of creatures, shapes and colors that were ever imagined in the universe.
They are nothing but mortals sanctified as gods by other mortals, invested with supreme belief and blind faith, exiled from the world by infinite purity, glorified and raised above the heavens.
But the absurd creature could not believe its eyes of what was happening. As soon as they would go into the flow of the river, they'd become flash, mortal rotten flash, caught in the filthy spirals of humanoid desires, drawning the sanctity of so many tens, so many illusions destroyed and so many dreams dissembled...they were the Decaying Gods...mayhem...freedom...loss of all hopes!
The sight of all this was too much to bear for the absurd one.So much pain and sorrow that it knew it had to escape of the trapping bridge and fly away. Even with the price of half its soul. With a last struggle, the absurd one became a crippled soul, flying off to find some other worlds...
And there was no more choice of worlds!

The voyage

The day's coming to and end and the end is coming to an end and then there's a new beginning coming to another end. Leaving the sun, the sunny and miss Tha behind, the absurd creature is trying to find its way back to the mortal's world. The sounds of a song are chasing it throughout the great grey sky, like a flock of happy dolphins, stinging his ears with flashing red and violet.

The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hold
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Between the worlds there is the river of all human emotions that it has to cross and there's only one way to do that: the bridge of immortal pain. All it ever felt comes back in vivid colors, stronger and stronger, embracing, suffocating, poisoning and burning. So, the absurd one stops in the middle of the bridge, falling into the trap of immortal pain and knowing it can never go back completely to the world it should be into. The silence and the loneliness are crushing its sobbing chest.Crossing to the Forbidden Beyond has its own price and now it's time to pay the dues.
And the song comes back again:

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

Leave, but don't leave me

Somewhere on the edge of the universe, in a time-forgotten restaurant, where walls are made of liquid colors and music flows in waves, a song is played eternally.

Viniste a mi
Como poesia en la cancion
Mostrandome
Un nuevo mundo de pasion

Amandome
Sin egoismo y sin razon
Mas sin saber
Que era el amor
Yo protegi mi corazon

Two shadows are embraced in a forever sad tango. They keep on moving on the heart beats of the same torturing questioning of the life they used to have. They never really understood that some things are out of their time and space and there is no answer to the questions. They miss the human touch and it's been so long since they've been dancing that the memories have died out and all it's left is the dance and the shadows of their long gone souls, caught in an immortal circle.

El sol se fue
Y yo cantando tu cancion
La soledad
Se aduena de toda emocion

Perdoname
Si el miedo robo mi ilusion
Viniste a mi
No supe amar
Y solo queda esta cancion

It's all happening

A sickening sun was blinking bored in the great grey sky. It was time for environmental engineers to prepare the setting for dusk. After a rapid deconstruction, the sun is gone and the sunny comes in, with its pale redish, orange face. This is the latest design to replace what used to be the sunset. Most say it's quite ok. But sunny can't be too long in the sky, because it's not yet stable.
After sunny, miss Tha comes in, walked in by the same super fast engineers. They are so fast you can hardly see them, they only leave the trace of their shadow. But they are working on that too. Miss Tha is the replacement for the moon, who ate too much of mint and became greenish and ice-cold. So, there she is walking on the pitch dark blue velvet which covered the previous grey sky.
Same time, down there, in the purified desert, one absurd creature is talking to a non-existent one, in the shadow of a giant mushroom.
"Who are you? Who am I? What is life?"
"I've told you before. Stop asking questions. I'm too ancient to remember all this. And besides, I don't understand why you keep on asking all this"
"Because I want to know..."
"It's not gonna help you. That I know for a fact. Stay there where you are and stop seeking for knowledge that you should not have. It's only gonna make your journey more difficult. You'll always be with one foot in that world and the other in this world. Lose balance and you have to start all over again"
"But why would such a thing happen?"
"See? This is exactly your problem. As long as you don't know something, you'll be restless. Take my advice and let it go. Life is just a journey, not a destination. And this is exactly where you should live. Not here. And remember that the human body though it's a super intelligent machine, has its own limitations."
"It's hard to go back. It's even harder to forget"
"No one says forget it. But just try to stay there for now, where time and space are specially built for you, with all its threads and webs. Keep in mind: there is no good or bad, no right or wrong. It just is. So, take it like that!"
...silence fell...and the absurd creature took off. Half way, it stopped, looked back and said to the ancient non-existent one "I'm returning" and gone it was...
"You will return, like it or not. But go back to your time now..." said the absurd one, with a tired whisper.

---Beyond the PSR!

State of mind

Old New Tune

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't cry, turn the tables instead
You've taken lots of chances before
But I ain't gonna give anymore
Don't ask me
That's how it goes
Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin'

Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let the fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusations before
And I ain't gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind, [looking at you] I can read your mind,[looking at you]i can read your mind [looking at you] i can read your mind

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry, I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain't gonna live anymore
Believing
Some of the lies
While all of the signs are deceiving
---APP

READY TO DIE

Happiness to that extreme, that you know for a fact there'll be no greater one in this life!
That's why I'm ready to die...but happy to be alive!

Theme of the day: ...non-words...