Believe this!

Not to be read by true believers or kids:D

If you believe in star sign and astrological predictions, then you should also know these things to ...enlighten you:
(This is a very old one, but still it's fun)

Libra - You are the artistic type and you have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male, you are probably gay. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are sluts. All Libra's have one form of veneral disease.

Virgo - You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your nit-picking attitude is sickening to your coworkers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep during intercorse. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.

Leo - You consider yourself a born leader. Everyone thinks you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.

Cancer - You are sympathetic and and understanding to other's people problems, which makes you a nosey prick. You always keep putting things off. This is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a turd. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.

Gemini - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are notorious for hitting on their sibilings.

Taurus - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and stick-to-it ivness because you never do anything right the first time. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but an ass hole.

Aries - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful on advice. You do nothing but to piss off everyone you come in contact with. Basically, you are a prick.

Pisces - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or Aliens. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting what you confuse as power. You lack confidence and you smell funny.

Aquarius - You have an inventive mind and tend to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk. You enjoy getting screwed by large inanimate objects.

Capricorn - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken-shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Scorpio - The worst of the lot!!! You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Saggitarius - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to rely on luck, since you have no talent. The majority of Saggitarius' are drunks. You are indeed a wothless piece of crap.