8.04.2006
We are in space
Though this was a personal weekend slogan, yesterday thousands of other people adhered to this idea, just yesterday. And that was because company's summer summit took place in Holiday Park (http://www.holidaypark.de)...So, quite literally Mothership took us in space...
There's one main thing for which this amusement park is worth big time and that is the GeForce roller-coaster, which takes you to a height of 62 meters (as a 20 floors building almost), turns you on a side at some 74 degrees angle and goes down in a 82 degrees angle, which basically means this: you see the cart going up and up and suddenly the tracks are gone and you have no idea where you go…(This was to quote a friend of mine)
And when you think that on top of all this, this harmless little roller-coaster is catching the speed of 120 km/h in only 3 seconds (making it the fastest in the world from this point of view), you can easily understand now the slogan “We are in space”
Funny is that none of these things are real joy unless you really lose control. So easy to say “let it go” and so hard to do. Most of us have the very false impression that we are in control of our lives and destinies. So, we wouldn’t try any of these crazy things because we like being in control and we like to know that we’re safe. We love our life exactly as it is.
So sad that we can’t even answer who are we and where do we come from, but we feel we’re in control…
There’s only one thing we can do: enjoy the ride!
WE ARE IN SPACE!!!
There's one main thing for which this amusement park is worth big time and that is the GeForce roller-coaster, which takes you to a height of 62 meters (as a 20 floors building almost), turns you on a side at some 74 degrees angle and goes down in a 82 degrees angle, which basically means this: you see the cart going up and up and suddenly the tracks are gone and you have no idea where you go…(This was to quote a friend of mine)
And when you think that on top of all this, this harmless little roller-coaster is catching the speed of 120 km/h in only 3 seconds (making it the fastest in the world from this point of view), you can easily understand now the slogan “We are in space”
Funny is that none of these things are real joy unless you really lose control. So easy to say “let it go” and so hard to do. Most of us have the very false impression that we are in control of our lives and destinies. So, we wouldn’t try any of these crazy things because we like being in control and we like to know that we’re safe. We love our life exactly as it is.
So sad that we can’t even answer who are we and where do we come from, but we feel we’re in control…
There’s only one thing we can do: enjoy the ride!
WE ARE IN SPACE!!!
8.02.2006
Funny mood
Funny mood, strange day, awesome to be alive!
Must be some time loop in the middle...but yesterday evening when I went to bed, it was still August...this morning, when I woke up, it was October. Spooky weather,I'm telling you. From 30 degrees to 16 over night??
Or is it because of the yesterday's cocktail that lead to another and another one and suddenly, the cubicle farm seems a much better place and Mothership takes us back to where we belong.
It's hard to say goodbye, but home just doesn't change!
Must be some time loop in the middle...but yesterday evening when I went to bed, it was still August...this morning, when I woke up, it was October. Spooky weather,I'm telling you. From 30 degrees to 16 over night??
Or is it because of the yesterday's cocktail that lead to another and another one and suddenly, the cubicle farm seems a much better place and Mothership takes us back to where we belong.
It's hard to say goodbye, but home just doesn't change!
8.01.2006
7.31.2006
Salary in, salary out
Today's not even the first day of the new month...but still it's the day when your bank account fills up again...theoretically.
What happens in reality is today's entrance: salary and today's exit: the same salary. That's how I live! As far as I know (and I really don't know), life is just one, so you'd better enjoy it. If you're broke by the 10th of the month, so be it!
Sweet, oh, sweet life!
Grown-up life, among other things, means that the 1st of the month becomes the day you wait for, you start hating the Mondays, all of the sudden, you become an expert in paying taxes and eventually in avoiding that...and if you really, really want to fit perfectly the pattern, then you should know everything about fixing pipes and building houses, having kids and a nagging wife and where can you find the cheapest hotels in Italy or Greece.
Anything I left out?
"Money, its a crime.
Share it fairly but dont take a slice of my pie.
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today.
But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that they're
Giving none away."
What happens in reality is today's entrance: salary and today's exit: the same salary. That's how I live! As far as I know (and I really don't know), life is just one, so you'd better enjoy it. If you're broke by the 10th of the month, so be it!
Sweet, oh, sweet life!
Grown-up life, among other things, means that the 1st of the month becomes the day you wait for, you start hating the Mondays, all of the sudden, you become an expert in paying taxes and eventually in avoiding that...and if you really, really want to fit perfectly the pattern, then you should know everything about fixing pipes and building houses, having kids and a nagging wife and where can you find the cheapest hotels in Italy or Greece.
Anything I left out?
"Money, its a crime.
Share it fairly but dont take a slice of my pie.
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today.
But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that they're
Giving none away."
7.28.2006
I wish I was a printer
Damn you, AC, for being environmental distructive!
Who would have ever imagined that in the middle of so called developed country, you'd actually suffer because of lack of air conditioner?!? Not me, for sure.
The aliens working on the Mothership decided sometime ago not to have ACs in the offices, because of the bad, bad influence on the environment! Very, very nice of you!
And considering how summers are in Germany (almost non-existent), this was quite a fair and admirable decision!
And what do you know? Look at that: 3 weeks in a row with daily temperature of 37-39 degrees and sunny! Oh, my God! The end of the world is near!
So, all of us now are boiling in offices, not to mention that the heat makes people act irrationally and forget to check themselves in the mirrors before coming to work (and let me tell you this much, people here have boring underwear, if at all). Or maybe you’d think ‘Ah, look an office with a fan and nobody working there’. So, you take the fan, happily put into yours and next day a senior vice president walks into your office to demand his fan back...Ups...!
What do you think of having no AC in the cinema hall? That was the best of all! There’s actually one good thing about it: you can bring your corn and have instant popcorn inside the cinema.
The only rooms here that have working (!!!) AC are the printer rooms!
I wish I was a printer...
Who would have ever imagined that in the middle of so called developed country, you'd actually suffer because of lack of air conditioner?!? Not me, for sure.
The aliens working on the Mothership decided sometime ago not to have ACs in the offices, because of the bad, bad influence on the environment! Very, very nice of you!
And considering how summers are in Germany (almost non-existent), this was quite a fair and admirable decision!
And what do you know? Look at that: 3 weeks in a row with daily temperature of 37-39 degrees and sunny! Oh, my God! The end of the world is near!
So, all of us now are boiling in offices, not to mention that the heat makes people act irrationally and forget to check themselves in the mirrors before coming to work (and let me tell you this much, people here have boring underwear, if at all). Or maybe you’d think ‘Ah, look an office with a fan and nobody working there’. So, you take the fan, happily put into yours and next day a senior vice president walks into your office to demand his fan back...Ups...!
What do you think of having no AC in the cinema hall? That was the best of all! There’s actually one good thing about it: you can bring your corn and have instant popcorn inside the cinema.
The only rooms here that have working (!!!) AC are the printer rooms!
I wish I was a printer...
7.26.2006
This summer's Hot Spot: Full Moon Festival
...the setting was absolutely fantastic
...it wasn't Woodstock, but Wittstock, in North Germany
...back to nature
...Fata Morgana
7.25.2006
Homo Corporatus
Most probably, we all have colleagues whose faces we put in the middle of the darts boards...for all the good reasons. I mean what would the working place be without them? Probably a booooooring, nice place, morons-free...Hold it, paradise is far away!
My favorite type however is the Corporate Village Idiot. He's that colleague who has a very wide variety of little annoying habits, engineered to cause mental diseases among the sane co-workers.The CVI would always be a complete disaster in being fashionable (the choice of colors is quite close to the variety of a psy trance banner, but very, very tasteless), would wear the same shoes for at least 4 years and for customer presentations would wear his lucky socks, with little bananas and apples on them (because somebody forgot to explain him the difference between a customer meeting and the village harvesting festival). The same guy would never miss any free party in the company and would usually have 3 to 7 little brats, in order to make sure that his genius genes will spread equally on all continents. The CVI would almost always have some food in the office, that he would not hesitate to enjoy (this means of course, a range of nervous noises that go beyond any limits of human imagination), while you have a conference call with an important customer or the board members of your company. Nevertheless, the CVI enjoys mostly spending his afternoon in very loud conversations over the phone, laughing almost hysterically at all the silly jokes and making sure that by the end you’re immune to plane crash noises.
And…this is how you spot aliens at work!!!!
Have a nice working week! :-)
My favorite type however is the Corporate Village Idiot. He's that colleague who has a very wide variety of little annoying habits, engineered to cause mental diseases among the sane co-workers.The CVI would always be a complete disaster in being fashionable (the choice of colors is quite close to the variety of a psy trance banner, but very, very tasteless), would wear the same shoes for at least 4 years and for customer presentations would wear his lucky socks, with little bananas and apples on them (because somebody forgot to explain him the difference between a customer meeting and the village harvesting festival). The same guy would never miss any free party in the company and would usually have 3 to 7 little brats, in order to make sure that his genius genes will spread equally on all continents. The CVI would almost always have some food in the office, that he would not hesitate to enjoy (this means of course, a range of nervous noises that go beyond any limits of human imagination), while you have a conference call with an important customer or the board members of your company. Nevertheless, the CVI enjoys mostly spending his afternoon in very loud conversations over the phone, laughing almost hysterically at all the silly jokes and making sure that by the end you’re immune to plane crash noises.
And…this is how you spot aliens at work!!!!
Have a nice working week! :-)
7.21.2006
Out of office reply
A friend of mine wrote in his out of office reply something like: "I'm on holidays! If you really, really need me...then ok, write me on my private email adress and I'll see what I can do" :-)
Sometimes, people don't get what out of office/being on holidays mean. So, I guess that's the right way to stress it out.
Or you can simply use one of these:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from my holidays. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.
:)
Sometimes, people don't get what out of office/being on holidays mean. So, I guess that's the right way to stress it out.
Or you can simply use one of these:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from my holidays. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.
:)
7.19.2006
Hello Me, meet the real Me!
What started out yesterday with lots of skepticism and general negative attitude, turned out to be a life changing experience. And that would be the so called Adventure Park Kandel.(http://www.abenteuerpark-kandel.de/ - Don't be fooled by all the nice kiddies pix they have on the website..."They Tricks Us!" )
Thanks to the Mothership, there are yearly departament outgoings, which I usually find deadly boring.
But yesterday, we went to this adventure park, where you have all these routes in the trees, where you walk on swings or on a rope, slide down on a rope to the next tree, bike on a rope, climb a ledder, crawl in suspended tube and many, many other things of this sort...all happening at some 6 to 18 meters above the ground.
Besides the sheer excitement, mingled with fear and desire to go till the end, freedom of mind and sharpening the survivor's instincts, it was absolutely hilarious.
Imagine a quite big wood and wherever you look up in the trees, there's someone hanging out there (quite literally). A whole world up in the trees and all the people down on the streets seem to be rather imune to all the yelling, Tarzan screaming and flying people above their heads. Check out the Travelog...put up some pix there!
Access to 4th dimension: granted!So long and thanks for all the fish!
Thanks to the Mothership, there are yearly departament outgoings, which I usually find deadly boring.
But yesterday, we went to this adventure park, where you have all these routes in the trees, where you walk on swings or on a rope, slide down on a rope to the next tree, bike on a rope, climb a ledder, crawl in suspended tube and many, many other things of this sort...all happening at some 6 to 18 meters above the ground.
Besides the sheer excitement, mingled with fear and desire to go till the end, freedom of mind and sharpening the survivor's instincts, it was absolutely hilarious.
Imagine a quite big wood and wherever you look up in the trees, there's someone hanging out there (quite literally). A whole world up in the trees and all the people down on the streets seem to be rather imune to all the yelling, Tarzan screaming and flying people above their heads. Check out the Travelog...put up some pix there!
Access to 4th dimension: granted!So long and thanks for all the fish!
7.17.2006
Valid for any Customer Info Line :-)
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you’re obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you’re codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you’re paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call.
If you’re delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother ship.
If you’re schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you’re depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you’ll press. No one will answer you.
If you’re dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, press the hash key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.
If you have a short term memory loss, please try your call again later.
And if you have no self esteem, hang out for all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Have a nice start of the week!
If you’re obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you’re codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you’re paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call.
If you’re delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother ship.
If you’re schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you’re depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you’ll press. No one will answer you.
If you’re dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, press the hash key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.
If you have a short term memory loss, please try your call again later.
And if you have no self esteem, hang out for all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Have a nice start of the week!
7.06.2006
Fight the boredom!!!!!!!!!
Let's face it: you can't pretend for 8 straight hours that you're working on something highly important that requires your entire and immediate attention. We all know these tricks...walking on the halls, carrying some files and look like in you're a big hurry (though you're going to grab the 10th cup of coffee), look very focused in your laptop (even though you're just reading the newspaper) etc etc..
But what do you do when you're really boooored out of your mind?
For one thing, you can either start writing a blog, like this...(After all, the humankind has no rival in the crap production)
Reading newspapers and all that is smoked stuff...Then, by noon you're also done with checking all your friends' blogs
What else? Check the daily fun websites, like:
www.break.com (Winner award)
www.youtube.com
www.guzer.com
www.darwinawards.com...to see the most stupid deaths in the world...
www.heardinnewyork.com...just to check what stupid things people say on the streets of New York..
Then, you're probably back to reading some news adn magazines...Download some music, some movies...
Anything I left out?...
And now, guys, back to work!
But what do you do when you're really boooored out of your mind?
For one thing, you can either start writing a blog, like this...(After all, the humankind has no rival in the crap production)
Reading newspapers and all that is smoked stuff...Then, by noon you're also done with checking all your friends' blogs
What else? Check the daily fun websites, like:
www.break.com (Winner award)
www.youtube.com
www.guzer.com
www.darwinawards.com...to see the most stupid deaths in the world...
www.heardinnewyork.com...just to check what stupid things people say on the streets of New York..
Then, you're probably back to reading some news adn magazines...Download some music, some movies...
Anything I left out?...
And now, guys, back to work!
6.23.2006
3.28.2006
Summer of 2006
Ok, this is the plan for this summer...though I don't know where will the universe take me...
There's:
Fullmoon Festival - Berlin- some of the names playing: Infected Mushroom, Astral Projection and the one and only Raja Ram
http://www.fullmoon-festival.com/control.htm
Summer Breeze - somewhere in Germany - some of the names: Moonspell, Fear Factory
http://www.summer-breeze.de/site.php?name=Bands
Rock am Ring - of course, in Germany as well: some of the names: Metallica, Guns'n'Roses, Depeche Mode, Placebo, Tool, Korn... and many more
http://www.rock-am-ring.com/main.html
And...there's more ...
Who's joining??
12.27.2005
Meeeeeerry Christmas everyone!!!
You wanna hear a good story? Not one of those that you'd say to kids around the fire though...
Check this out:
THE PSYCHEDELIC SANTA
The psychedelic secrets of Santa Claus by Dana Larsen (18 Dec, 2003)
Modern Christmas traditions are based on ancient mushroom-using shamans.Although most people see Christmas as a Christian holiday, most of the symbols and icons we associate with Christmas celebrations are actually derived from the shamanistic traditions of the tribal peoples of pre-Christian Northern Europe.The sacred mushroom of these people was the red and white amanita muscaria mushroom, also known as "! fly agaric." T
hese mushrooms are now commonly seen in books of fairy tales, and are usually associated with magic and fairies. This is because they contain potent hallucinogenic compounds, and were used by ancient peoples for insight and transcendental experiences.Most of the major elements of the modern Christmas celebration, such as Santa Claus, Christmas trees, magical reindeer and the giving of gifts, are originally based upon the traditions surrounding the harvest and consumption of these most sacred mushrooms.
The world tree
These ancient peoples, including the Lapps of modern-day Finland, and the Koyak tribes of the central Russian steppes, believed in the idea of a World Tree. The World Tree was seen as a kind of cosmic axis, onto which the planes of the universe are fixed. The roots of the World Tree stretch down into the underworld, its trunk is the "middle earth" of everyday existence, and its branches reach upwards into the heavenly realm.The amanita muscaria mushrooms grow only under certain types of trees, mostly firs and evergreens. The mushroom caps are the fruit of the larger mycelium beneath the soil which exists in a symbiotic relationship with the roots of the tree. To ancient people, these mushrooms were literally "the fruit of the tree."The North Star was also considered sacred, since all other stars in the sky revolved around its fixed point. They associated this "Pole Star" with the World Tree and the central axis of the universe. The top of the World Tree touched the North Star, and the spirit of the shaman would climb the metaphorical tree, thereby passing into the realm of the gods. This is the true meaning of the star on top of the modern Christmas tree, and also the reason that the super-shaman Santa makes his home at the North Pole.Ancient peoples were amazed at how these magical mushrooms sprang from the earth without any visible seed. They considered this "virgin birth" to have been the result of the morning dew, which was seen as the semen of the deity. The silver tinsel we drape onto our modern Christmas tree represents this divine fluid.
Reindeer games
The active ingredients of the amanita mushrooms are not metabolized by the body, and so they remain active in the urine. In fact, it is safer to drink the urine of one who has consumed the mushrooms than to eat the mushrooms directly, as many of the toxic compounds are processed and eliminated on the first pass through the body.It was common practice among ancient people to recycle the potent effects of the mushroom by drinking each other's urine. The amanita's ingredients can remain potent even after six passes through the human body. Some scholars argue that this is the origin of the phrase "to get pissed," as this urine-drinking activity preceded alcohol by thousands of years.Reindeer were the sacred animals of these semi-nomadic people, as the reindeer provided food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. Reindeer are also fond of eating the amanita mushrooms; they will seek them out, then prance about while under their influence. Often the urine of tripped-out reindeer would be consumed for its psychedelic effects.This effect goes the other way too, as reindeer also enjoy the urine of a human, especially one who has consumed the mushrooms. In fact, reindeer will seek out human urine to drink, and some tribesmen carry sealskin containers of their own collected piss, which they use to attract stray reindeer back into the herd.The effects of the amanita mushroom usually include sensations of size distortion and flying. The feeling of flying could account for the legends of flying reindeer, and legends of shamanic journeys included ! stories of winged reindeer, transporting their riders up to the highest branches of the World Tree.
Santa Claus, super shamanAlthough the modern image of Santa Claus was created at least in part by the advertising department of Coca-Cola, in truth his appearance, clothing, mannerisms and companions all mark him as the reincarnation of these ancient mushroom-gathering shamans.One of the side effects of eating amanita mushrooms is that the skin and facial features take on a flushed, ruddy glow. This is why Santa is always shown with glowing red cheeks and nose. Even Santa's jolly "Ho, ho, ho!" is the euphoric laugh of one who has indulged in the magic fungus.Santa also dresses like a mushroom gatherer. When it was time to go out and harvest the magical mushrooms, the ancient shamans would dress much like Santa, wearing red and white fur-trimmed coats and long black boots.These peoples lived in dwellings made of birch and reindeer hide, called "yurts." Somewhat similar to a teepee, the yurt's central smokehole is often also used as an entrance. After gathering the mushrooms from under the sacred trees where they appeared, the shamans would fill their sacks and return home. Climbing down the chimney-entrances, they would share out the mushroom's gifts with those within.The amanita mushroom needs to be dried before being consumed; the drying process reduces the mushroom's toxicity while increasing its potency. The shaman would guide the group in stringing the mushrooms and hanging them around the hearth-fire to dry. This tradition is echoed in the modern stringing of popcorn and other items.The psychedelic journeys taken under the influence of the amanita were also symbolized by a stick reaching up through the smokehole in the top of the yurt.
The smokehole was the portal where the spirit of the shaman exited the phy! sical plane.Santa's famous magical journey, where his sleigh takes him around the whole planet in a single night, is developed from the "heavenly chariot," used by the gods from whom Santa and other shamanic figures are descended. The chariot of Odin, Thor and even the Egyptian god Osiris is now known as the Big Dipper, which circles around the North Star in a 24-hour period.In different versions of the ancient story, the chariot was pulled by reindeer or horses. As the animals grow exhausted, their mingled spit and blood falls to the ground, forming the amanita mushrooms.
St Nicholas and Old Nick
Saint Nicholas is a legendary figure who supposedly lived during the fourth Century. His cult spread quickly and Nicholas became the patron saint of many varied groups, including judges, pawnbrokers, criminals, merchants, sailors, bakers, travelers, the poor, and children.Most religious historians agree that St Nicholas did not actually exist as a real person, and was instead a Christianized version of earlier Pagan gods. Nicholas' legends were mainly created out of stories about the Teutonic god called Hold Nickar, known as Poseidon to the Greeks. This powerful sea god was known to gallop through the sky during the winter solstice, granting boons to his worshippers below.When the Catholic Church created the character of St Nicholas, they took his name from "Nickar" and gave him Poseidon's title of "the Sailor." There are thousands of churches named in St Nicholas' honor, most of which were converted from temples to Poseidon and Hold Nickar. (As the ancient pagan deities were demonized by the Christian church, Hold Nickar's name also became associated with Satan, known as "Old Nick!")Local traditions were incorporated into the new Christian holidays to make them more acceptable to the new converts. To these early Christians, Saint Nicholas became a sort of "super-shaman" who was overlaid upon their own shamanic cultural practices. Many images of Saint Nicholas from these early times show him wearing red and white, or standing in front of a red background with white spots, the design of the amanita mushroom.St Nicholas also adopted some of the qualities of the legendary "Grandmother Befana" from Italy, who filled children's stockings with gifts. Her shrine at Bari, Italy, became a shrine to St Nicholas.
Modern world, ancient traditions
Some psychologists have discussed the "cognitive dissonance" which occurs when children are encouraged to believe in the literal existence of Santa Claus, only to have their parents' lie revealed when they are older. By so deceiving our children we rob them of a richer heritage, for the actual origin of these ancient rituals is rooted deep in our history and our collective unconscious. By better understanding the truths within these popular celebrations, we can better understand the modern world, and our place in it.Many people in the modern world have rejected Christmas as being too commercial, claiming that this ritual of giving is actually a celebration of materialism and greed. Yet the true spirit of this winter festival lies not in the exchange of plastic toys, but in celebrating a gift from the earth: the fruiting top of a magical mushroom, and the revelatory experiences it can provide.Instead of perpetuating outdated and confusing holiday myths, it might be more fulfilling to return to the original source of these seasonal celebrations.
How about getting back to basics and enjoying some magical mushrooms with your loved ones this solstice?
What better gift can a family share than a little piece of love and enlightenment?
Art by Jimmy Bursenos: solsticestudios.net
FURTHER LIN! KS AND REFERENCES:
- The Hidden Meanings of Christmas, Mushroms and Mankind, by James Arthur
- Santa Claus & the Amanita Muscaria, by Jimmy Bursenos
- Who put the Fly Agaric into Christmas?, Seventh International Mycological Congress, December 1999, Fungus of the Month
- The Real Story of Santa, The Spore Print, Los Angeles Mycological Society, December 1998- Santa and those Reindeer: The Hallucinogenic Connection, The Physics of Christmas, by Roger Highfield
- Fungi, Fairy Rings and Father Christmas, North West Fungus Group, 1998 Presidential Address, by Dr Sean Edwards
- Fly Agaric, Tom Volk's Fungus of the Month for December 1999- Father Christmas Flies on Toadstools, New Scientist, December 1986
- Psycho-mycological studies of amanita: From ancient sacrament to modern phobia, by Jonathan Ott, Journal of Psychedelic Drugs; 1976
- Santa is a Wildman, LA Times, Jeffrey VallanceBOOKS WORTH READING:- Mu! shrooms and Mankind, by James Arthur
- Soma: Divine Mushroom of Immortality, by Gordon Wasson- Mushrooms, Poisons and Panaceas, by Denis R. Benjamin
Check this out:
THE PSYCHEDELIC SANTA
The psychedelic secrets of Santa Claus by Dana Larsen (18 Dec, 2003)
Modern Christmas traditions are based on ancient mushroom-using shamans.Although most people see Christmas as a Christian holiday, most of the symbols and icons we associate with Christmas celebrations are actually derived from the shamanistic traditions of the tribal peoples of pre-Christian Northern Europe.The sacred mushroom of these people was the red and white amanita muscaria mushroom, also known as "! fly agaric." T
hese mushrooms are now commonly seen in books of fairy tales, and are usually associated with magic and fairies. This is because they contain potent hallucinogenic compounds, and were used by ancient peoples for insight and transcendental experiences.Most of the major elements of the modern Christmas celebration, such as Santa Claus, Christmas trees, magical reindeer and the giving of gifts, are originally based upon the traditions surrounding the harvest and consumption of these most sacred mushrooms.
The world tree
These ancient peoples, including the Lapps of modern-day Finland, and the Koyak tribes of the central Russian steppes, believed in the idea of a World Tree. The World Tree was seen as a kind of cosmic axis, onto which the planes of the universe are fixed. The roots of the World Tree stretch down into the underworld, its trunk is the "middle earth" of everyday existence, and its branches reach upwards into the heavenly realm.The amanita muscaria mushrooms grow only under certain types of trees, mostly firs and evergreens. The mushroom caps are the fruit of the larger mycelium beneath the soil which exists in a symbiotic relationship with the roots of the tree. To ancient people, these mushrooms were literally "the fruit of the tree."The North Star was also considered sacred, since all other stars in the sky revolved around its fixed point. They associated this "Pole Star" with the World Tree and the central axis of the universe. The top of the World Tree touched the North Star, and the spirit of the shaman would climb the metaphorical tree, thereby passing into the realm of the gods. This is the true meaning of the star on top of the modern Christmas tree, and also the reason that the super-shaman Santa makes his home at the North Pole.Ancient peoples were amazed at how these magical mushrooms sprang from the earth without any visible seed. They considered this "virgin birth" to have been the result of the morning dew, which was seen as the semen of the deity. The silver tinsel we drape onto our modern Christmas tree represents this divine fluid.
Reindeer games
The active ingredients of the amanita mushrooms are not metabolized by the body, and so they remain active in the urine. In fact, it is safer to drink the urine of one who has consumed the mushrooms than to eat the mushrooms directly, as many of the toxic compounds are processed and eliminated on the first pass through the body.It was common practice among ancient people to recycle the potent effects of the mushroom by drinking each other's urine. The amanita's ingredients can remain potent even after six passes through the human body. Some scholars argue that this is the origin of the phrase "to get pissed," as this urine-drinking activity preceded alcohol by thousands of years.Reindeer were the sacred animals of these semi-nomadic people, as the reindeer provided food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. Reindeer are also fond of eating the amanita mushrooms; they will seek them out, then prance about while under their influence. Often the urine of tripped-out reindeer would be consumed for its psychedelic effects.This effect goes the other way too, as reindeer also enjoy the urine of a human, especially one who has consumed the mushrooms. In fact, reindeer will seek out human urine to drink, and some tribesmen carry sealskin containers of their own collected piss, which they use to attract stray reindeer back into the herd.The effects of the amanita mushroom usually include sensations of size distortion and flying. The feeling of flying could account for the legends of flying reindeer, and legends of shamanic journeys included ! stories of winged reindeer, transporting their riders up to the highest branches of the World Tree.
Santa Claus, super shamanAlthough the modern image of Santa Claus was created at least in part by the advertising department of Coca-Cola, in truth his appearance, clothing, mannerisms and companions all mark him as the reincarnation of these ancient mushroom-gathering shamans.One of the side effects of eating amanita mushrooms is that the skin and facial features take on a flushed, ruddy glow. This is why Santa is always shown with glowing red cheeks and nose. Even Santa's jolly "Ho, ho, ho!" is the euphoric laugh of one who has indulged in the magic fungus.Santa also dresses like a mushroom gatherer. When it was time to go out and harvest the magical mushrooms, the ancient shamans would dress much like Santa, wearing red and white fur-trimmed coats and long black boots.These peoples lived in dwellings made of birch and reindeer hide, called "yurts." Somewhat similar to a teepee, the yurt's central smokehole is often also used as an entrance. After gathering the mushrooms from under the sacred trees where they appeared, the shamans would fill their sacks and return home. Climbing down the chimney-entrances, they would share out the mushroom's gifts with those within.The amanita mushroom needs to be dried before being consumed; the drying process reduces the mushroom's toxicity while increasing its potency. The shaman would guide the group in stringing the mushrooms and hanging them around the hearth-fire to dry. This tradition is echoed in the modern stringing of popcorn and other items.The psychedelic journeys taken under the influence of the amanita were also symbolized by a stick reaching up through the smokehole in the top of the yurt.
The smokehole was the portal where the spirit of the shaman exited the phy! sical plane.Santa's famous magical journey, where his sleigh takes him around the whole planet in a single night, is developed from the "heavenly chariot," used by the gods from whom Santa and other shamanic figures are descended. The chariot of Odin, Thor and even the Egyptian god Osiris is now known as the Big Dipper, which circles around the North Star in a 24-hour period.In different versions of the ancient story, the chariot was pulled by reindeer or horses. As the animals grow exhausted, their mingled spit and blood falls to the ground, forming the amanita mushrooms.
St Nicholas and Old Nick
Saint Nicholas is a legendary figure who supposedly lived during the fourth Century. His cult spread quickly and Nicholas became the patron saint of many varied groups, including judges, pawnbrokers, criminals, merchants, sailors, bakers, travelers, the poor, and children.Most religious historians agree that St Nicholas did not actually exist as a real person, and was instead a Christianized version of earlier Pagan gods. Nicholas' legends were mainly created out of stories about the Teutonic god called Hold Nickar, known as Poseidon to the Greeks. This powerful sea god was known to gallop through the sky during the winter solstice, granting boons to his worshippers below.When the Catholic Church created the character of St Nicholas, they took his name from "Nickar" and gave him Poseidon's title of "the Sailor." There are thousands of churches named in St Nicholas' honor, most of which were converted from temples to Poseidon and Hold Nickar. (As the ancient pagan deities were demonized by the Christian church, Hold Nickar's name also became associated with Satan, known as "Old Nick!")Local traditions were incorporated into the new Christian holidays to make them more acceptable to the new converts. To these early Christians, Saint Nicholas became a sort of "super-shaman" who was overlaid upon their own shamanic cultural practices. Many images of Saint Nicholas from these early times show him wearing red and white, or standing in front of a red background with white spots, the design of the amanita mushroom.St Nicholas also adopted some of the qualities of the legendary "Grandmother Befana" from Italy, who filled children's stockings with gifts. Her shrine at Bari, Italy, became a shrine to St Nicholas.
Modern world, ancient traditions
Some psychologists have discussed the "cognitive dissonance" which occurs when children are encouraged to believe in the literal existence of Santa Claus, only to have their parents' lie revealed when they are older. By so deceiving our children we rob them of a richer heritage, for the actual origin of these ancient rituals is rooted deep in our history and our collective unconscious. By better understanding the truths within these popular celebrations, we can better understand the modern world, and our place in it.Many people in the modern world have rejected Christmas as being too commercial, claiming that this ritual of giving is actually a celebration of materialism and greed. Yet the true spirit of this winter festival lies not in the exchange of plastic toys, but in celebrating a gift from the earth: the fruiting top of a magical mushroom, and the revelatory experiences it can provide.Instead of perpetuating outdated and confusing holiday myths, it might be more fulfilling to return to the original source of these seasonal celebrations.
How about getting back to basics and enjoying some magical mushrooms with your loved ones this solstice?
What better gift can a family share than a little piece of love and enlightenment?
Art by Jimmy Bursenos: solsticestudios.net
FURTHER LIN! KS AND REFERENCES:
- The Hidden Meanings of Christmas, Mushroms and Mankind, by James Arthur
- Santa Claus & the Amanita Muscaria, by Jimmy Bursenos
- Who put the Fly Agaric into Christmas?, Seventh International Mycological Congress, December 1999, Fungus of the Month
- The Real Story of Santa, The Spore Print, Los Angeles Mycological Society, December 1998- Santa and those Reindeer: The Hallucinogenic Connection, The Physics of Christmas, by Roger Highfield
- Fungi, Fairy Rings and Father Christmas, North West Fungus Group, 1998 Presidential Address, by Dr Sean Edwards
- Fly Agaric, Tom Volk's Fungus of the Month for December 1999- Father Christmas Flies on Toadstools, New Scientist, December 1986
- Psycho-mycological studies of amanita: From ancient sacrament to modern phobia, by Jonathan Ott, Journal of Psychedelic Drugs; 1976
- Santa is a Wildman, LA Times, Jeffrey VallanceBOOKS WORTH READING:- Mu! shrooms and Mankind, by James Arthur
- Soma: Divine Mushroom of Immortality, by Gordon Wasson- Mushrooms, Poisons and Panaceas, by Denis R. Benjamin
12.16.2005
What Pattern Is Your Brain?
***Your Brain's Pattern***
You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatpatternisyourbrainquiz/
You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatpatternisyourbrainquiz/
11.01.2005
9.14.2005
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